Yard Work

One of the greatest things -- or downright advantages -- of moving to the 'Ville last fall was the opportunity for me to finally have a nice, decent yard to work with.

Most men know exactly what I'm talking about. A man's yard is almost like a mistress -- you want to keep 'er lookin' pretty and gourgeous, but you really don't want anyone to notice her.

Okay, bad analogy for a happily-married man such as myself. But you get the idea.

The yard at our old house couldn't really be classified as a yard. Or a mistress. More like a shaggy dog with mange that you want to keep away from your children at all costs.

We had at least twenty towering pine trees that created nearly 100 percent shade around the entire lot, which we found out much to our chagrin during the sale last summer was actually two lots, one of which we owned according to the trusty title company. Too bad I didn't start the blog back then -- wouldn't have been much positive to write about.

Shade wasn't necessarily bad, except when you wanted to grow grass. And pine trees, of course, shed pine needles. And twenty pine trees shed, well, LOTS of pine needles. It was a raking and leaf-blowing nightmare. Not to mention all the dust, roots and just plain-old nasty stuff you had to deal with.

Lived there ten years and went through four lawnmowers. I did break down and pay to have four of the trees cut down in the front yard, which led to a rebirth of sorts of some semblence of a front lawn. But that was it. Everything else was like clearing a path in the jungle. Pretty heavy, thick, nasty stuff.

Which is why moving to the 'Ville was so attractive. The house is smaller, and we are a bit more crowded inside the walls. But I have my mistress in the yard, so to speak. (Again, that's only an analogy!)

The back yard is nearly a perfect rectangle, enclosed on all sides by fences. There's one big, beautiful tree on the entire place. I can cut the grass in the back yard in nice, neat little rows or a big circle if I want. I thought about cutting a huge "W" in the back yard over the weekend, like you see on baseball fields. That way, pilots flying overhead would know the Weavers live there.

The front yard is almost picturesque. Got a row of hedges -- yes, hedges!!! -- along the front of the house, and bright, green, thick grass all over the front yard. Breathtaking.

After our much-anticipated camping trip over the weekend, I got home at about 10:30 or so in the morning Saturday. Yes, I know it's the middle of June, and the temperature was approaching about 120 or so I think, when I ventured outdoors to gently manicure the yard with my trusty Troy Built.

My newfound figure, thanks to a weight loss of nearly 44 pounds since New Year's Day and a renewed commitment to the weight room two or three times a week, has enabled me to comfortably work out in the yard shirtless. I get coated down with sunscreen, grab the IPod and go out with the mistress. (Analogy!)

The only drawback to my new yard is that it's pretty much an all-day chore to get her lookin' right. This past weekend, I had to make a concession to the brutal heat and turn it into a two-day affair. Did all the mowing Saturday, took the Sabbath off completely, and returned home after work Monday to finish the trimmings -- meaning, weed-eating and hedge trimming.

Bought a used gas weed-eater last summer, and got tired of smelling like gasoline every time I used it. So now I go exclusively with the electric trimmer, provided courtesy of brother-in-law Ronnie a few years ago. A thoughtful gift at the old house, but very ineffective. The electric trimmer practically hid from me when it was time to do yard work in the jungle. Now it waves itself at me and lights up in the 'Ville.

Clipped the hedges and trimmed the weeds, and everything is looking nice for at least another week-ten days or so. We've got these large hedge-bush things on the corner of the house that were very beautiful when we moved in, but I noticed I've got some sort of issue with both of them. A bird built a nest in one, which I disposed of, but now the leaves are turning some milky-white color and appear to be dying off. Not sure if it's a disease, some sort of fungus or just the fact a mother bird fed her young in the coolness of my hedge. I'll keep a watchful eye out.

The other has a wild vine that appears to have snaked its way up the corner gutter and is now worming along the brick. I can get that down relatively easy, but... not Monday night. The thing has a swarm of wasps, bees and dirt-dobbers around it, by the hundreds. Not sure if there's a nest in there or if they were just all out for wild summer insect party. But I didn't touch it last night. Bugs and I, especially the flying, stinging ones outside, have an agreement. I don't mess with them, and they don't mess with me, in the outdoors. If they come inside, then we fight. But out here, that's their turf.

Yes, a man's yard is his castle, and I've built my own little fortress in the 'Ville. At some point I will break down and purchase a riding mower, but now I just view it as a chance to workout. And I know that every bead of sweat keeps the mistress looking good.

And believe it or not, that makes the true love of my life -- my wife Jeannie B. -- extremely happy.