It's All In His Timing

Our children's train is now complete.

Lily Ann came rushing into the world officially at 11:34 a.m. on Thursday, July 2, 2009, weighing just a feather shy of five pounds. To put that in perspective, I usually gain five pounds every 10 hours, which is about the time it took Jeannie to deliver our newest little girl once her water unexpectedly gushed forth early Thursday morning.

Jeannie has referred to Lily as our "little caboose," which is fitting -- she is the last car in the train for sure. We took that means to an end about an hour after the delivery when my wife was whisked away to the operating room for a quick little procedure that hopefully will dry up the well, so to speak.

Having Lily and all that it entails is really no problem for us. We've had three diffferent prior experiences to get it right and whether we succeeded or not experience counts.

But when you are literally not prepared for it, it takes a few days to comprehend and put all the thoughts on paper, you know? Besides, I haven't had access to a viable computer for blogging so I apologize for the lateness of this commentary.

A couple of entries ago I mentioned some of the memorable highlights of each of our children's births. Lily apparently sensed she wasn't getting enough attention already and wanted to make a splash.

Of course we fully expected to be early with the delivery -- Jeannie's never been late with a single child. Coby was a week early, and Abby was induced a week early. Melody literally came on her due date -- Jeannie's water broke at five minutes after midnight on the due date. So, we were expecting Aug. 2 or a little before to be the time Lily arrived.

All that to say this -- we were nowhere near ready for this baby to be here. When I say we had nothing, we had NOTHING prepared. No diapers. No wipes. Certainly no clothes. As of about 10 days ago, we hadn't discussed where the baby would even sleep.

I should have noticed the signs. Around Monday of last week Jeannie started worrying more about such things as sleeping arrangements. We have two bedrooms in which to house four children, and three of them are girls. For me, the math never added up other than putting three girls in one room.

That, of course, was not an ideal solution. Melody has been good rooming with Abby but quite frankly wasn't up much for a second baby sister to be sharing a room with -- especially with her big brother Coby all snug and comfy in his own private room.

So Mom and Dad had to make an executive decision, meaning we approached Coby about at least sharing his room with his tiny baby sister for a few weeks-months-years. I've got to admit my selfish nature would never have allowed me to do such a thing. But my son isn't selfish. He readily agreed to the arrangement and was quite excited at the prospect. I'm not sure how excited he will be once Lily actually moves into the room, but that will play out later.

Jeannie was busy for about three days moving beds around, vacuuming, cleaning. By Wednesday she'd put up Abby's new toddler bed and moved the old baby bed into Coby's room, where it was still about halfway put back together. We were concerned about Abby adjusting to the toddler bed, but she has made the switch as smoothly as could have been expected or hoped for.

I came home Tuesday evening from work to find that every stitch of clothing I owned had been washed and dried. That hasn't happened since the day we exchanged wedding vows, and even before then my own mother never had my clean clothes meter at 100 percent. I should have noticed something supernatural was taking place but...

I got sick. Sometime between Tuesday night and Wednesday morning, some sort of stomach bug hit me with a vengeance. I bravely trudged into the office Wednesday morning but couldn't make it past 9 before heading back home. Jeannie was sitting on the couch folding more clothes when I arrived and said something about my stomach churning. I went straight to the bedroom and climbed into bed, where I slept soundly for nearly five hours. I woke up, watched some TV for about 45 minutes or so before crawling back to bed and getting in another couple hours of slumber, complete with chills and stomach cramping. I felt good enough to munch on a small bowl of oatmeal with toast later Wednesday evening but hit the sack early again, hoping more rest would allow me to return to the office Thursday. Besides, we'd planned a busy Fourth of July weekend excursion with Stu and Lauren to Stu's parents' house on Lake Jacksonville, with plans to leave Thursday night. I would certainly feel rested and ready for Independence Day.

I was sleeping soundly before I remember opening my eyes facing the bedside table. The clock said 1:45. Jeannie was hovering over me, and said something like "you're going to think I'm crazy but I think my water just broke."

I did think she was crazy. We were a full month away from Lily's due date. Babies don't come that early, I was fairly certain.

"What do you mean, your water broke?"

"Either that or I'm really going to the bathroom."

Without getting too graphic here, let's just say we both quickly determined the problem wasn't kidney- or bladder-related. I was pretty certain she was sure of what she was feeling when she told me she'd first felt the sensation around midnight but, rather than wake me up for a false alarm had waited to make sure. At some point she became sure -- she had already packed a bag and done her hair before rousing me from slumber.

Thankfully Donnis was available to come and stay with our other children rather than us waking them in the middle of the night and trying to find a spot to drop them. There was still a part of me thinking this was just some sort of weird coincidence and that we'd be back home before the sun came up, therefore I didn't pack a bag for myself.

We arrived at the hospital in Marshall about 3 a.m., and Jeannie was whisked into a tiny exam room in the LDR unit. We sat there for about 45 minutes or so and a nurse confirmed the bag of water had ruptured. A quick call to the doctor got us admitted to the hospital, and moments later we were in one of the bigger, more comfortable LDR rooms.

Once I knew Jeannie was settled, I grabbed a quick nap on the pull-out bed in the room. The doctor arrived a little after seven, confirmed everything we'd already been told and then did a quick sonogram to determine if the baby's head had even dropped, which was something I'd feared all morning.

Yep, Lily had turned and her head was in the birth canal. Everything was on go, and labor officially underway. Four hours or so later, we had our newest little girl -- a full four weeks before her due date.

The blessings of this experience have been tremendous for us. It's such a blessing to have a) a family that is always ready to help and be there for you in times of stress, b) friends who are like family, and c) a church that supports and loves one another. We had people going back to the house to try and make some semblance of order for a baby that wasn't expected for weeks. We have had food delivered to our house ever since we came home, and the only thing I've had to make for anyone while Jeannie recovers is Pop Tarts at breakfast.

The biggest blessing of all, however, is Lily Ann. When she was born I could literally hold her in my forearm and her legs not touch my chest. A lot of that is that she still pulls them up into a fetal position most of the time, especially while sleeping. It's hard to look at her and imagine she still should be in her mother's womb, yet she is going to develop over the last month in utero out of utero.

Our kids have been great too. Coby and Melody went nearly 10 years as the two kids in the family, and they've had a lot of responsibility put on them to help out around the house since Abby was born two years ago. The two big kids were just as excited as us about the newest arrival. I'm still not quite certain Abby full comprehends Lily's place with us, but she has gotten in probably more kisses and hugs on her little sister than anyone. The biggest challenge we face here in the early going with her, apparently, is convincing her that Lily is actually not a dog or cat, because all Abby wants to do is "pet" her.

No, I never expected to have Lily get her so quickly. But it just goes to show you that God is in control of our lives whether we want to admit it or accept it. This could not have happened as smoothly as it has without His hand in it every step of the way. I firmly believe that my long period of sleep the day before the birth was divinely generated, because I was rested and ready to go for the long day Thursday and into the weekend.

And finally, Jeannie is the perfect mom. One thing I've learned in 16 years of marriage (as of Friday the 10th) is that my wife has one of the strongest wills of anyone I've ever known. She nursed our older two children and had planned on doing so with Abby, but for whatever reason the nursing thing never really clicked between those two and Abby had to settle mostly for formula. I knew this bothered Jeannie for a long time and once we found out we were expecting Lily I began praying that the nursing experience would be a pleasant one this time around so she could enjoy what only mothers and babies can enjoy one more time.

The first few hours were typically and predictably tough, although Lily had shown very promising signs of wanting to nurse. Long story short, after a couple of good cries brought on by the hormones and some tough moments, Jeannie pushed through with the determination that has become her trademark and mom and baby are doing extremely well at feeding time. And still, remarkably, she's found little bits of time over the past few days to stay connected with the other three children in the house, especially little Abby who is still our baby as well and just needs attention. The older kids help with that as well as me trying to give as much as a dad can, but sometimes, well, sometimes a two-year-old just needs her mommy. And Jeannie has been there as well as being there for little Lily as well. It's a delicate balancing act that only moms can appreciate and understand.

So there it is. We expanded the family as expected but much earlier than expected. It's been a great experience, and God has been evident every moment of the journey.